Let me tell you about Senhor Manuel.
Any one of us could, one day, “be him!”
Senhor Manuel is 91. He is very frail, but his mind is very sharp.
Manuel has been in hospital for months, alone and without a single visit.
As the only “company” beside his armchair were loneliness, pain, regrets and life’s disappointments, he began to shut himself away, falling into silences that lasted for days.
He is extremely kind, thoughtful, sweet and has a wonderful sense of humour.
He is in bed 21, right by the entrance of that room, on our left.
The whole time we were there, he played along with us. He repeated what we said, and found it hilarious.
“At first his daughter used to visit him, but over time the visits became fewer and further apart. Now nobody comes to see him!” said the therapist. She was a very friendly young woman, fond of him, whom we called his “granddaughter”.
As time went on, Senhor Manuel became happier, more smiley and more playful!
He even started answering us in English.
Many of us think about this and reflect on it.
But we should more often put ourselves in the slippers of the Manuels, the Antónios, the Marias and the Rosas.
Building up the knowledge and wisdom that time “offers” means that noticing, reading and sensing abandonment, absence and disappointment can be cruel enough to wound, and can harden the most beautiful of hearts.
Being seen again and heard again works real “miracles”.
It doesn’t take much to hurt or disappoint someone… but often it takes almost nothing to see the “light” come on again, the windows open and the “houses” fill with colour.
The man in bed 21 was “someone”, but he could be me, you or any one of us. He was trapped in his pain and in hard, cruel thoughts. But a few minutes later he was alive again.
All of us can go through difficult moments at different stages of our lives. But the switch to “turn on the lamp” is there, it is always there!
At the end, as we said goodbye, Senhor Manuel made a heart shape with his hands and fingers.
Telling someone we appreciate and love them doesn’t need letters, words or text.
Some gestures speak, sing joy, life, colours, scents, sharing… lives!
There are poets, painters and artists who express joy, love and happiness in superb ways…
But Senhor Manuel, who today is him and tomorrow could be me, you, us, chose a simple gesture to express the beauty kept in the hearts of our elders.
Their hearts have been filed and sculpted by time, and have become refined. It is the human being at its finest.
Listen to them, hug them, love them, for they are the “most refined, purest and finest minerals”!